At some point throughout this prescribed process, your brain should successfully navigate the intellectual mine field that is this headline.

 
What we know is that man dressed as Darth Vader from the Star Wars franchise and sporting a garbage bag for a cape, interrupted the proceedings at an England-based church that practices the Jedi Religion by hitting the leader of the Jedi church and his cousin with a metal crutch. 

Apparently his light saber was in the shop.

As if the story needed any subtext, the Darth Vader character claimed not to remember the incident as he had engulfed the better part of a two and a half gallon box of wine.  I’m guessing that would drive anyone to the dark side of the force!

Still want more?  How ‘bout the fact that the whole event was caught on the Jedi Church’s video camera that was set up to record an impending light saber battle demonstration.  I’ll bet George Lucas could create more than six movies with this material.

Truth, once again, a bit stranger than fiction.

All of this got me to thinking, just who is more bored in this scenario, the people (30 members are claimed to exist) who profess to practice the Jedi religion, or the guy who drinks a kiddie pool’s worth of boxed wine and tries to take them out? 

If that question doesn’t send you spiraling into an existential crisis, God help you!

I can’t help but think that if I could just get to these people, perhaps I could save them.

Perhaps I could introduce some level of entertainment into their lives that could spare them being the subject of future articles like this one.  Emboldened with all of the purpose of a U.N. relief worker, I set out to find the perfect diversion. 

And I just might have.

Seeing how all, or most of the players in this ugly scene were men, it would have to be a manly pursuit.  Also I wanted something that could hook them quickly and leave them wanting more.  Then it hit me.

What if I could take all of these guys on an exotic car tour.  Seem far fetched?  Let me explain.  The exotic car tour would keep them entertained for a full day.  It would involve them in an activity where drinking large amounts of bad wine is not permitted, and it could hook them into the whole exotic car thing.
 
For example, they may wake up in the middle of the night wanting to rent a Ferrari in DFW for the weekend instead of channeling Yoda for life advice. 

And if they get really hooked, they could even join an exotic car club for unlimited exotic car usage.
 
I pitched this idea to my friend Ron Sturgeon who owns a company that provides exotic car tours in Texas, a Fort Worth exotic car rental agency, and a Fort Worth exotic car club.  His reaction, “Our car club members tend to be very straight-up folks who just love exotic cars. They’re more into channeling Enzo Ferrari.”
 
Apparently Ron doesn’t share my burning desire to save these people from themselves.
 
Written by G.D. Gregory.  If you are interested in having me write stories for you or seeing my portfolio, please contact me at ggpsu@yahoo.com.

Remember the days before SUVs roamed the planet with the authority of their distant dinosaur cousins? I have vivid memories of piling into the old wagon for a cross-town or, God forbid, cross-country trip.

Well, as history played out, once all of those grocery shopping soccer moms caught a glimpse of the new SUVs, it was over and just like that the station wagon seemed to go the way of the buffalo.

Well, a funny thing may be happening. With gas prices soaring and the economy generally heading into the tank, people are starting to cut back. One way this is playing out is that folks are looking to spend less on cars and less to fill those cars up with gas.

In an effort to take advantage of this, Toyota offers its new Toyota Venza. What’s this bring to the table you ask? Well, the Toyota Venza is described by Toyota as a “crossover sedan.”

Rather than the slightly lower SUVs put out by Chrysler, the Toyota Venza interprets the term “crossover sedan” to mean “station wagon.” Although it would probably be marketing suicide to actually refer to the Venza as a station wagon.

The initial reviews are mixed with some calling the Venza a timely addition to the Toyota lineup that “looks like a winner.” Still others claim that the Venza is what happens when you take a “Camry Wagon and cross it with ugly.” Still, given Toyota’s reputation and levels of customer satisfaction, it is hard to bet against them.

It is still to be determined how the current economic and energy climate will affect those who love their cars exotic and fast. Many car enthusiasts are wealthy enough to be bothered by a few extra bucks at the pump. But others may find that owning their dream car is put further out of reach by these developments.

“There are a lot of people who have an unlimited amount of love for cars, but a limited budget to spend on them,” notes Ron Sturgeon, a man famous for renting Ferraris in Dallas, “These are the people that tend to make their way to our businesses,” continues Sturgeon.
Sturgeon operates an exotic car club, exotic car rental agency, and an exotic car tour company.

The exotic car club allows members to enjoy a loaded exotic car garage without the costs and inconveniences associated with direct ownership. Membership terms are flexible so that members can buy just the right amount of drive time to fit their tastes and their budgets.

“For car enthusiasts looking for an alternative to expensive exotic car ownership, car sharing is a fantastic alternative,” says Mr. Sturgeon. “Our Dallas car sharing club just added its thrid Lamborghini and we also just received the new Dodge Viper,” said Sturgeon. Find out more about membership in a car club by visiting http://www.dfwelitecarclub.com.

Written by G.D. Gregory. If you are interested in having me write stories for you or seeing my portfolio, please contact me at ggpsu@yahoo.com.